I have been a bit of a snot nose about blogging. There has been a whole lot of booing and hooing because i am by nature a lazy writer. Either that or for many years i have been possessed by a hater demon. This post is the equivalent of me ramming a proper sized cross into its leering mouth and chanting,” Demon demon go away. oswadde!” something like that.
This is not a tralala-I’m-here post. Mine is the same old story of “My smart friend encouraged me to start a blog. I refused. He encouraged some more. I still refused. etc” Apenyo Mildred, THE APENYO has arrived.
Now what to talk about?
ROCK N ROLL ( Mark Tremonti guitar riff, drum roll,etc)
Once upon a time, the Sunday Vision marketing team roamed the earth with a mission upon its collective shriveled breast. It had been charged by the big-bossman to do the most accurate market survey in the land. It rode all around town on the backs of cheap boda bodas ( boda bodas because they needed to find the dumbest people in the land and boda men would know where to find them of course).
Anyway, they rode and rode and rode and finally, spotted a bar called Blu Haze. Excited, they leapt off their scooters and ran in bellowing,” WHO HERE LOVES ROCK n’ ROLL? WHICH OF YOU UNPATRIOTIC BASTARDS THINKS WE SHOULD RUN A ROCK n’ ROLL COLUMN?!?”
The waitress (the one with the partly bleached legs) said, ” Eh eh? Who is you? I don’ty know wat you want. Aneway,Beer is 3 thawzand.”
Jimmy, their smelly patron for life (with kilimi) said, “Belch.”
Betty, the bot bellied manageress said, ” Rock? Stupid. Are you in Steak-y-Out?”
After scribbling furiously for a few minutes, head-market surveyor said, “We head.”
They then submitted a report saying that SundayVision should stop running the rock n roll column immediately and i was cast onto another project and left columnless. sigh.
I said, “Anha” and started this here blog.
Last week, we talked about Katatonia.
Those dirty men who smell for your eyes in every video of theirs. Those men who hate you and me and them, who want the apocalypse to happen everyday like the weather. Those ones.
This week, we are going to talk about Cradle of FILTH who are even smellier and stupider .
They are unashamed devil lovers, this lot. The one video of theirs that i have features malformed fetuses eating, fucking and cutting each other up. These men are sick. And sad. And they love the devil. Please do not listen to them. Watch that one video, the one everybody has (I forget its name) and watch out for that bit where four really hot chics are slitting their wrists with razors shaped like violin bows and pooling their blood in a bathtub. That part is pretty hot. The hottest part of the video really. After it they return to screaming incoherent praises to their dark lord. Gosh i hate this band. Even more than i hate Ramstein (that german band of horny hooligans.) P’TU!