Halloween. Shmalloween :/

Ah ah. Wah. I haven’t the energy to turn this into a bloggy blog post. So here it is. Suck my nads, S.V. Pahtooi.

Halloween came and went, but it left the following in its wake: industrial strength hangovers, yards of never to be reused cloth and pictures that are more likely to induce gags and hot shame than laughter as time drags us all away from October 31st.

Most of the men who bothered to show up for the parties in costume didn’t do much thinking when it came to actually choosing their clothes. They just filched Amarula family’s’ cross dressing theme and built on it, Tower of Babel style. Never before has Kampala been populated with such an alarmingly large number of tittering, disproportionate ladies, with such plentiful amounts of body hair.If there was a bright side to this, it’s that their presence at the parties galvanized the drinking- tenfold  and our beer companies made a fortune that night.

When it came to choosing characters, I think I’m fairly accurate in concluding that the transvestite was the most favored character by the men in Kampala. For most of the ladies, anything that showed large amounts of flesh was acceptable but a number of them nailed the look, if the pictures of the “Hullabaloo” party are anything to go by.

Halloween is a fairly new concept to many Ugandans and very few have made an effort to catch up to it. We however have a vicious bandwagon syndrome so I’m sure that it’ll happen-all in good time. For now, it’s looked at as a thing of the movies and many people have distanced themselves from it, taking the stance that like everything else that we try to copy, we’ve registered big failure. Mariah says, “I hopped from party to party and was honestly bored by it all. Halloween to Ugandans means masks and nudity. It’s just a bigmasquerade party all the city, no real costumes or pumpkin decor…just masks, party wearand lingerie. ”

Raymond says “Frankly, I’ve never attended a Halloween party. I don’t even know when Halloween became big here, but as a nation looking for the slightest excuse to party, I’m not shocked. I first came to know about it from the children’s books I had- trick-or-treating. Here, it’s a ‘wicked’ party night that would pass unnoticed by me if it weren’t for the event notices on Facebook and Google doodles.”

Halloween is not just about getting pats on your back for putting together the most frightening and/or absurd costume; it’s also about the story that  you live to tell.

Daniel says, “It was the one night in the year that I could unashamedly dress up as anything from a transvestite hooker to a mutilated earthworm so I went as an anime school girl, short skirt, long socks, little top and all.  I was honestly spaced out for most of the night but the few things I remember are extremely disturbing, even to me. I think I must have flashed some policeman on my way home because the cops were all over me at some point. I’ve lived to tell the story so things definitely ironed themselves out.”

And this is Roger’s story: “I was invited to a couple of parties, so I decided to start small.  Kikoni was my first stop. That wasn’t a very good idea because all I got to show for it was a stick of foul smelling goat meat, a sick stomach and a boring height. The next one I went to was wild though with people so high, I’m sure they could hear heaven. If I told you the things that went down in detail, you’d be fired for writing this story. Suffice it to say that Halloween is when people’s inner depraved freaks come out to play.”

According to Chantal, people make Halloween an excuse to do and wear the outrageous things that they wouldn’t dream of even associating themselves with on any other day of the year and this goes to show how impressionable and judgmental this society is.

If this is true, every other man you meet on the street is a closet transvestite and a lot of women would do anything to look like Miz. Gaga. Makes you look at people a little differently, doesn’t it?

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About Miz. Kyrte

I read, I write, I love. My favorite quote is: We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing. Bukowski, baby! Extremes ;-)

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4 responses to “Halloween. Shmalloween :/

  1. for me, halloween was a total bore! So true abt ugandanz lookin for every escuse to party! cant wait for us to start celebrating thanksgiving like its xmas!!!

  2. halloween for me would be an excuse to dress upnothing more
    follow me at http://mbabaziannet.blogspot.com/

  3. Transvestite hooker is off bounds…any time of the year, I’l tel u that Daniel.

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